A Day He'll NEVER Forget
by Dogedoos
Summary: That was it. Snape strode past Ron, and set his robes on fire before he screamed in frustration and vanished into the dungeons. The can of deodorant hovered after him, but was suddenly disintegrated, as it was hit with a rather violent blasting spell.


April fools day, how the Weasley twins loved it. A day for the youthful to once again, tempt their elders to use murder as an escape to freedom. A day when you could put half a can of worms into McGonagalls' pumpkin juice and get away, scot-free. A day when you could pretend to break peoples wands and (of course) a day when Snape mostly avoided the Twins. For the past seven years at Hogwarts, he had been the twins main target, last year, he narrowly avoided taking a potion, which would turn his hair red and gold until the end of term. Fred and George Weasley had spent four weeks detention with Filch, and had to scrub the cauldrons clean every week. This was the twins' last year at Hogwarts, and they were determined to make it their best yet. But doing this would involve a lot of planning, this year they would be pranking Dolores UmBridge. So, last night, when they new they could corner a good number of students, they snuck out of Gryffindor Tower. Just as a precaution, they went through a hidden passage on the fourth floor, luckily, they didn't see any staff. As they reached the end of the tunnel, Fred pulled back a tapestry, to show the dark corridor, on which the room of requirement rested.

"After you, dear Brother,"

"Thank you good Sir,"

"Not at all!" replied Fred

The twins walked over to the door and slowly opened it. Inside, most of Gryffindor house, accompanied by some other students, were practicing spells and defences. George watched Zacharius Smith throw the jelly-legs curse at Cho Chang, whilst she aimed 'Silencio' at him.

Harry came over and pointed out something to Zach, then look up at George.

'Hey George, you alright?'

'I need to speak with some members of the D.A, Harry, you don't mind...do you?'

'No, be my guest. Ok Everyone, Fred and George need to speak to the following people...Fred?'

Fred looked around the room at the members of the D.A.

"Ok, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Angelina....let's have some other houses....Cho? Can you come up here to please....Luna, Hannah annnnd....Harry, I think you can help us with our little...task...and Harry, you might want to send the others back to their dorms, I know it's rude, but it's also confidential...sorry guys," he said to the room of disappointed students.

The students slowly trudged out, grumbling between themselves. The last eight students filed up to the front of the room and stood around the Weasley twins.

"What do you guys want then?" asked Ginny.

"Well, as this is our last year, we're gonna get Umbridge instead of Snape, and we were wondering if you guys and some Slytherins would prank the other teachers...please?" said George happily.

"And there are rules so that you can't rope the Slytherins' into suicide or murder at the hands of your chosen staff member...we really need the Slytherins before we tell you the rules...Harry?" Fred wiggled his eyebrows to the-boy-who-lived.

"What?..."

"Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs???" said George.

"OOHHH!," realisation dawned on Harry's face. "Ok, one min."

And with that, he ran out of the Room of Requirement with a piece of old parchment clutched tightly in his hands.

Fred told the others to stand in a line, they did as they were told and patiently awaited Harry's return. George tapped Fred on the shoulder and led him away to a far corner, where they whispered in excitement...they came back to the group as the door clicked open, revealing Harry, towing seven unhappy Slytherins, Draco Malfoy in the lead.

He looked at the twins questioningly, before saying, 'You'd better be quick Weasley, cause I think I hear Professor Umbridge coming this way.' Malfoy smirked.

"Ok, hears the plan. Me and my charming-"

"Charming!"

"Charming brother George are playing a trick on Umbridge, and unfortunately-"

"Unfortunately!"

"Unfortunatly, it's taking more effort than we first thought, so we would like you fifteen to team together, and give each other the worst prank you can think of to do on Professor Snape tomorrow for April fools' day...please..." said Fred with enthusiasm.

"Anyone who doesn't want to do it, go now please." Stated George.

Determined to show the other houses that they were brave, the pupils stayed where they where.

"Ok, now, because none of you have left, you've automatically signed yourselves into a magical contract. You must complete the set task or you'll end up in with Madame Pomfrey for the best part of two weeks." Said Fred.

Noticing that everyone seemed to be edging over to their best friends, Fred added, "Now get into a circle, and me and George will pair you guys up."

The students did as they were told.

"Ok, Luna, You go with Warrington, Cho, you go with Pucey...Hermione and Malfoy...Ron, you're with Goyle and Harry, you're with Pansy. SozGin, but you're with Crabbe and Hannah, we'll go with you." Their was some scrambling, then the seven pairs, Hannah and the Weasley twins were all silent again.

"Now, this is were we all learn our task for tomorrow, you don't have to do anything that will result in you death (Draco's face fell slightly) but, me and my brother here will be the judges of what is fun and suicide." Said Fred. "Ginny, you first, then we'll work clockwise around the circle."

"Ok, Crabbe, you have to....blow Snape three kisses through Breakfast tomorrow."

The houses giggled nervously.

"Annnd you, have to wink at him three times at Breakfast." Crabbe grinned.

"Ok, Luna, you next," came George's voice.

Warrington, you have to sell Snape a pink shirt before the end of the day."

"And you have to convince him that Crumpled-back-Snorklumps really exist."

"Harry?"

"Oh! Ok, Pansy, you have to walk up to the staff table at dinner and sing Snape a love poem that you have personally written!"

"And Harry, dear, you have to cause a scene about how I'm your girl and threaten him, try and actually get him to fight over me if you can..."

Harry silently begged the twins to make her change her dare, but they shook their heads and said in unison,

"Still doing it mate, sorry."

"Weasley, you're going to lead Harry back you table and go back up to Snape, yell at him, that Harry has High blood pressure and should not be aggravated. Say he's responsible for attempted murder!"

"Goyle, when I'm doing all of this, you're going to run up crying to Pansy and beg her that it's not true, and start crying!"

Angelina turned to Montague "You're gonna ask how to make a baby in Potions, and I WILL be watching."

"Well, you've got to hum all through his lesson." Angelina slouched.

"Cho's got to trip him up in the corridor twice."

"Pucey's got to sell Snape a bottle of shampoo for his hair by the end of the day.

The group looked towards Hannah, who shuffled around, uncomfortable with the amount of attention she was suddenly receiving.

"Hannah, you have an easy one, seeing as we won't have time to do one our selves, you have to charm a bottle of deodorant to follow him around all day. If he manages to undo the charm, the bottle will spray him until it's empty, this will only happen if he takes the charm off before twelve hours. Hermione?"

"Draco has to complain loudly of a strange smell, coming from Snape, if he tries to insult you, slap him, and ask him 'doesn't he love you anymore?"

"Right, well, Mudblood, if that happens, you have to kiss Snape."

A stunned silence. "Smile at him for the rest of the day."

"Um...ok, now that everyone knows what they're doing, let the !" Yelled Fred and George.

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Severus Snape Woke quite early on the first of April, the next day. He hated this day. For the past seven years of his life, he had been subject to the Weasley twins' taunts. Why they bothered to make his life a misery, he'd never know. Severus picked up a thick book: Defence Against Dark forces. Volume One. He read for about half an hour, before, putting on his coat and draping his robes around his shoulders. He planted a sneer onto his face as he stepped out of his library, through his class and into the corridor. As he reached the Entrance Hall, he saw one of the Ravenclaws talking to the youngest Weasley. They should still be in bed...it was only 6:30...Severus sighed to himself, and glided over to the girls. The young redhead looked up at him, he glared back. Suddenly, she winked at him. He halted, and narrowed his eyes. He growled at the pair of them and stalked into the Great Hall. Damn insolent children. Severus took his regular place at the head table.

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As the hall slowly filled up, the youngest Weasley was obviously trying to catch his attention. She had taken the nearest seat to him on the Gryfindor table, She had followed him into the hall, and winked again at him, when he sat down, and was now, throwing various projectiles at him. The other staff were beginning to wonder why he hadn't yelled yet, and were all watching him out of the corner of their eyes. He was vastly impressed with his self-control in the beginning, but when a chocolate frog eye, hit him squarely on the forehead, he went over the edge. He slowly stood, menacingly. Severus quickly walked down towards Weasley, but just as he passed the Ravenclaw table, something hooked over his leg. He stumbled forward slightly, but his Deatheater instincts straightened him. He spun around to see a crestfallen Miss Chang. He straightened his back, to look as tall as possible, but was distracted slightly, by half a slice of bread smacking him in the back of the head. His hand shot up to check the damage, and felt afew crumbs dotted around. With a flick of his wand, they disappeared He turned around to face Ginny, who looked slightly nervous. Suddenly, Severus felt something come into contact with his knee, and before he could stop himself, fell forwards onto the unfortunate student.

Fred and George, looked on in excitement, all was going to plan. The staff were speechless, and the hall was silent. All eyes were on Snape to see how he would react. Cho looked on in shock, she had just kicked the dreaded potions master in the knee...and it felt good! The Raenclaw looked on in disbelief as Snape landed in an embarrassing position on top of Ginny! Aww crap.

Severus stayed still for a moment to analyse the situation. Right, this was fixable...he realised that it might be harder to fix, when Weasley winked at him again, gasps issued throughout the hall. He rolled to the side to get off her, and looked at the terrified Ravenclaw. Cho saw the pure hatred in Snapes' eyes and ran. Severus waved his wand and the great oak doors slammed shut, and ran after her. The Weasley twins, seeing this decided to intervene. Fred tackled Snape as George opened the doors slowly with his wand. Apparently, it was harder than it looked. Snape easily threw Fred off, and launched after Cho, George raised his wand, but was caught by surprise, as Severus yelled 'EXPELLIARMUS!' The chase carried on out of the hall, leaving shocked faces at every table. Part one was complete...just wait till dinner thought Fred, as he watched a bottle of deodorant floating slowly out of the hall.

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Severus collapsed into his favourite chair, he'd finally caught Chang and had assigned her to a weeks' worth of detentions with Filch, and deducted 50 house points from Ravenclaw. Now he had double potions with Gryffindor and Slytherin. How much fun? Nothing could happen it? Oh, how wrong he was.

As soon as the class entered he groaned loudly. Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. Warrington had a large pink shirt tied around his waist. Those infernal twins have something to do with this, thought Snape. Warrington approached Snapes desk, 'Sir?'

'NO, I will not buy one.' Snapped Snape.

Warrington seemed stunned, but he recovered himself quickly. 'Please sir? They're 100 cotton and everything! And-And look at the back!' Snape slowly raised his eyes from another thick book, the shirt said 'WHO'S THE DADDY?'

Severus' black eyes bored into Warringtons' blue ones. The boy slowly walked back to his desk in silence. Next, Pucey stood up and trotted happily over to Snapes desk. 'Sir, would you be interested in accepting a 'gift?''

'Go back to your desk.' Ordered Snape, his head was killing him.

Pucey stood infront of Severus for a minute, before placing something on his desk and then sitting back behind his cauldron. Snape looked at it. 'Head and Shoulders?' he picked it up with distaste, and held it at arms length. Severus walked the length of the classroom, renched the door open, threw the bottle out and slammed the door shut. The hinges rattled. Snape's eyes swept the class daring anyone else to 'try him'.

The students weren't even fidgeting, scared of loosing 50 points, which _was_ possible judging by Snapes' mood. And, so, the lesson continued, Snape was just explaining why the class shouldn't add sniget feathers to veritaserum, until it had boiled, when he was interrupted. His anger still fresh, Severus swirled around to face Warrington.

'WHAT?' He yelled, spraying the poor boy with spit.

'Sir, I want you to have this shirt!' And with that bold statement, Warrington threw through the retched shirt over his teacher and ran out of the class.

Severus screamed and grabbed the first body his wand-hand came in contact with, whilst his other hand, whipped the shirt off his head. He was looking into the face of Monatgue.

Snape relaxed his vice-like grip and stepped back.

'Get back to your seat.' Said Snape through gritted teeth.

'Sir? How are babies made?'

Severus Snape froze in his steps. All around him, eyes were wide. His headache was gone now, and in it's place, was.... a VERY bad feeling in his stomach. He turned around, looking to his shelves, and found the potion.... a heal-all potion. He uncorked it, throwing the bud at Montague, and chugged the lot down, he was supposed to take it slowly, but he didn't really care. Why? Oh God WHY????? Why had Montague asked him this? He looked at the boy.

'150 points from Slytherin and Gryffindor...I've had ENOUGH!!!' yelled Snape. 'I'm sorry for the inconvenience, goodbye...' And with that, he walked towards the door to his class, the door of freedom...the damn door of solid oak. WHY did it have to be oak...Oh, I think Snape new, because, just as he reached it, he yelled 'RICTUSEMPRA!' The door was blown clean off its hinges, the whole class jumped, and from outside they heard a shriek.

Snape flew out of the class, and returned holding a pale Professor McGonagall. He left after a swift glare to the class.

'Class, I heard screaming, so I came to investigate, Professor Snape says that he is unable to teach for the rest of the lesson, but that you had some questions for me about relationships Mr Montague?' Angelina heard a small laugh coming from outside the class, before Alicia started screaming next to her. Angelina had forgotten to do her dare, and was currently covered in green spots, and had tentacles sprouting from her head. Alicia took her to the Hospital wing,

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As Severus strode into the Great Hall for dinner, every table became silent, as they watched another scene play out infront of them, the Potions lesson had been told to anyone who'd listen, even the staff. Snape became aware of a small body trotting beside him, struggling to keep up with his large strides. He looked down and was shocked to see Lovegood carrying an assortment of books on...what? Crumple-backed.... what the hell?????

'What, prey-tell are you doing Miss Lovegood?'

'Sir, Crumple-backed snorklumps DO exist...I've SEEN them!'

Snape gave her a disdainful look. 'Obviously,'

'Are you been sarcastic?'

'No.' Snape lied.

Luna thinking he was telling the truth, walked calmly off towards the Gryffindor table. Snape sat at the head table, and was shocked, when Parkinson strode to him.

'_Yes?_' cried Snape in desperation.

Parkinson pulled out a piece of parchment, ruffled it slightly and read:

_I never saw you before,_

_I thought you were really nice._

_I saw you smiling at me, _

_So I smiled back once or twice._

_You winked at me and waved, _

_I did the same to you._

_I longed to know your name, _

_You longed to know mine to._

_I left without saying hello,_

_Or goodbye._

_I saw you seven days later,_

_You with your friends, me with mine._

_You told me your name,_

_I told you mine._

_We began to chat for a long, long time._

_We chatted for ages,_

_And got to know so much. _

_Now we're together, _

_Five weeks today,_

_This is my dream over the holidays._

Snape sat in stunned silence, all eyes on him.... once again...

'NOOOO,' came a depressing bellow from the Slytherin table. A clattering sound reverberated off the stone walls. 'Pansy, how could you like_ him_? _I_ love you!' Gregory Goyle pleaded. Severus watched the scene unfold infront of his eyes... oh, these teenage loves, always SO complicated. He glanced over to the Slytherin table and realized that Crabbe wasn't there. Strange. What Snape didn't know, was that Crabbe was currently in the Infirmary with Angelina.

Snape inwardly smirked as the 15-year-old boy ran out of the hall bawling his eyes out. 'What a shame' thought Severus dryly.

'HOW COULD YOU!' Snapes eyes swivelled over to he Gryffindor table, from where, Potter was slowly approaching.

'What?'

'_YOU_ KNOW WHAT. HOW COULD YOU STEAL _MY_ GIRL?'

Snape looked on in awe. This can't be happening he thought.

'I'LL TAKE YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW FOR HER!' yelled Harry.

'Mr Potter, please refrain from yelling and SIT DOWN!'

Harry dived across the table of food and landed on top of Snape, hands around his neck. Severus easily threw him onto the floor and stood. Glaring daggers at his pupil.

Suddenly Ron Weasley was at Potters' side. Ron helped a snivelling Harry back to his desk, before rounding on Snape.

'YOU IDIOT!'

Snape took a step towards Ron, it was evident to everyone playing witness in this 'little' scene, that Snape couldn't control himself for much longer.

'SIT DOWN.... NOW!' hissed Snape.

'HE'S STRESSED, HE'S GOT HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE! I CAN GET YOU DONE FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER YOU KNOW!' yelled Ron into Snapes face.

That was it. Snape strode past Ron, and set his robes on fire before he screamed in frustration and vanished into the dungeons. The can of deodorant hovered after him, but was suddenly disintegrated, as it was hit with a rather violent blasting spell. It turned out that it couldn't even spray Snape after that.

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Snape strode through the empty archway that was the remnants of his door. Fifth year Potions was the last lesson of the day...thank god... As he sat down at his desk, Draco Malfoy's hand slowly waved in the air.

'Mr Malfoy?' asked Severus softly, wishing that this day would just end.

'I like your after-shave.' Draco stated the first thing that came into his mind.

'Thank you Mr Malfoy. Unlike some people, I actually care about hygiene.' Replied Snape savagely.

'Whaa? How could you say something SO mean to _me? _Don't you love me any more?'

'No, please stand outside the class Mr Malfoy,' feeling sorry for his Professor, Draco actually did as he was asked, and walked out.

Hermione stood and walked over to her teacher.

'Professor?' She asked slowly.

'Mrs Granger?'

She hesitated, then leaned over and pecked Snape on the cheek.

'Happy April Fool's Day Sir,' She faced the class. 'Everyone back to their common rooms, I am a prefect, please do as I say. I think I'm quite right in thinking that Professor Snape would like to take the rest of the day off' And with that, that class left Severus to his thoughts.

Damn brats...but they did have a good sense of humor!


End file.
